The Great Wedding Debate: Children

Every year, thousands of couples sit together, sometimes alone, sometimes with their parents, and begin the first of many drafts that eventually lead to that magic list determining who gets an invitation to their dream wedding. And every year said couples must decide to host a kid-free wedding or include little guests. Now, let's clarify: we will NEVER tell a client if they should or shouldn’t invite someone to their wedding. We will, however, discuss ways in which you can avoid hurt feelings all around.

If you decide to have children at your wedding, but you want the parents to be able to enjoy themselves, we suggest partnering with a local babysitting agency. Many babysitting agencies offer group rates and can be booked a couple of weeks in advance. If this is the route you are going, it’s very important to gather the following information for the babysitting agency:

1.    How many children and their ages

2.    Food allergies and medical needs

3.    Is there a quiet room available

The first item will help the babysitting agency determine how many babysitters will be needed to look after the children. Some also use this information to know what kind of books, board games, and activities to bring to keep the children entertained. The second item is important so that if one child has snacks that another one shouldn’t be near due to allergies, the babysitters can keep an eye out. The third item is super important. Many venues will allow the babysitting team and children to use the bridal sweet once the ceremony is over, others have a separate room that can be rented, and if the wedding is at a hotel room, then some guests will volunteer their room to be the designated kid room. Once the ceremony and reception are done and food has been partaken, the parents can take their children to the designated room where the babysitters will look after them and the parents can return to the party. This way, your entire family can be part of your big day, but you give the option for childcare so that parents can enjoy the party portion of the evening.

If instead, you decide that you don’t want children at your wedding at all, you can still partner with a local babysitting agency, share that information with your guests, and even set up an account for your big day with the babysitting agency. The responsibility of gathering the information for the agency would now rely on the parents of the children and you should let the parents know that some agencies require a week to two weeks heads-up if multiple guests are using the same agency.  Some agencies will offer special pricing if multiple parents are using them for the same event.

How to tell your guests that children aren’t invited is one of the top five questions we get asked all the time. This is just one way to have it in your invitation, “We’re so excited to celebrate with you! To allow our guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we’ve chosen to make our wedding day an adult-only event. We hope you can join us for this special celebration.” And then include the contact information of the babysitting agency you are partnering with in the invitation.

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding, your choice whether to have children there or not attend your big day.